#bloke

Basically, a manager is a father figure to 20 or 25 blokes. It's about trying to get the best out of them and creating team spirit. ↗

— Alan Shearer

#basically #best #blokes #creating #father

I love how the men stand around cooking the barbie while the women have done all the work beforehand doing the marinade and making the salads and then everybody says, 'what a great barbie' to the guy cooking. A barbecue is just the ultimate blokes' pastime, isn't it? ↗

— Curtis Stone

#barbecue #barbie #beforehand #blokes #cooking

Some bloke came up to me in Tesco a couple of years ago at 11:30 pm and said: 'Excuse me, would you mind telling my son here that you're Uncle Vernon?' I said: 'Get a grip. It's 11:30 at night - what's he doing out of bed? I'm not here to entertain people at this time of night. ↗

— Richard Griffiths

#bed #bloke #came #couple #doing

Sad old blokes, I'm told, now dream of me with a whip in hand. ↗

— Anne Robinson

#dream #hand #i #me #now

It seems like the older bands are bigger than ever. We get a mixed crowd where you have kids and old blokes like me. ↗

— Geezer Butler

#bigger #blokes #crowd #ever #get

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.' ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#around #assistant #blind #bloke #calls

Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out. ↗

— Johnny Vegas

#big #bloke #enough #out #pointing

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'" ↗

— Tim Vine

#car #getting #give #give me #go

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.' ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#car #getting #give #give me #go

You always hear people saying, 'I hope I'm not turning into my dad', but I'd be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is. ↗

— Johnny Vegas

#became #bloke #dad #decent #half