#bled

I would be lying if I said I didn't get a kick out of the assignment. Here I am, a "troubled youth," and my self-chosen treatment is to become a stalker. Okay, not stalker. Research Analyst. ↗

— Lindsey Leavitt

#humor #lindsey-leavitt #research #sean-griswold-s-head #stalker

Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #humor

I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon. Hagrid seized his pink umbrella and whirled it over his head "NEVER -" he thundered "- INSULT -ALBUS -DUMBLEDORE - IN - FRONT - OF - ME! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#hagrid #humor #uncle-vernon #humor

Alas! Earwax! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #humor

I see a light in the kitchen. Let us not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #molly-weasley #humor

Humanity was a passing notion to him; something he liked to try on for size and model in the dressing room, but never actually felt compelled to buy. ↗

— Jane Bled

#author #dark #ebook #glbt #humor

I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#car #disabled #funny #handicapped #humor

For future reference, Harry, it is raspberry...although of course, if I were a Death Eater, I would have been sure to research my own jam preferences before impersonating myself. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#death

It is the Unknown we fear in Darkness and Death. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#death

You will find that I will only truly have left this school when none here are loyal to me. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#secret