#bizarre

A brick could be dropped at the feet of your enemy, as a gift, as an insult, as a way of saying “I’ll tear down the wall between us—and tear down the walls of your life.” Then you might try offering him a cheese sandwich.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Love is like building a wall with two bricks and a ton of wind. Obviously you and your lover are bricks.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A blanket could be used to separate the winners from the losers. With the exception of me, all men are losers, and only the winners are allowed under the blanket. Sorry, fellas, but there is nothing I can do about the situation. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Dear Ford, I think my Ford Explorer door is broken. It just won’t close. I think this is because I don’t have the rest of the Explorer, I only have the door. It’s a passenger-side door, and I bought it from a passenger. Also, it doesn’t seem to be able to lock. I think the latch isn’t catching, or something. I think it’s missing some crucial parts, and I’d like to order them from you. I need: one frame, four wheels, a body, another door, an engine, a steering wheel, and some of those air fresheners that you stick in the vents. And I’m feeling frisky with my money, so let me go ahead and order some brakes while I’m at it. You can send the bill to the Pizza Hut on San Jose Boulevard. They’ll just deliver it to me, along with the pizza I just ordered. Thank you, Jarod Kintz ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#e-mail #ford #funny #humor #ridiculous

A blanket could be considered part of performance art, if you’re inconsiderate and steal all the covers while we’re asleep—and film me shivering and twitching in the night. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all. ↗

— John Hughes

#freaks #normalcy #bizarre

You are so bizarre, even for a human." "Thanks. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#isabella-swan #bizarre

All things are strange which are worth knowing. ↗

— Catherynne M. Valente

#knowledge #odd #strange #bizarre

Reality is bizarre enough for me. ↗

— Jane Lane

#bizarre

I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success.
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #cherry #knot #nonsense #ridiculous