#birth

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#cord #cut #dog #dumb #everywhere

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#birth #daughter #easy #go #had

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#birth #birth control #control #just #leave

But, the truth is and we can argue about whether this is right or not as long as we want to, but the fact is that women really do spend more time with their families. Until I can find a man who can tell me the dates of all of his nieces and nephews birthdays and get presents out to them regularly, I'm going to stay by that statement. ↗

— Cokie Roberts

#argue #birthdays #dates #fact #families

If you read back in the Bible, the letter of the apostle Paul to the church of Thessalonia, he said that in the latter days before the end of the age that the Earth would be caught up in what he called the birth pangs of a new order. ↗

— Pat Robertson

#apostle #back #before #bible #birth

I used to go to the U.S. Open on my birthdays and sit in the nosebleeds. ↗

— Andy Roddick

#go #i #open #sit #used

I'm not going to be caught around here for any fool celebration. To hell with birthdays! ↗

— Norman Rockwell

#around #birthdays #caught #celebration #fool

If the current birth rate, which is the lowest in the major developed countries, continues, there will be no Japanese. Who will pay the enormous debt? ↗

— Jim Rogers

#continues #countries #current #debt #developed

Labor gives birth to ideas. ↗

— Jim Rohn

#gives #ideas #labor

There is something about a poet which leads us to believe that he died, in many cases, as long as 20 years before his birth. ↗

— James Thurber

#before #believe #birth #cases #died