#bi

We were just speaking to your friend here about the craft of brewing potions to enhance the libido. It seems he has a wealth of knowledge regarding plants and herbs.”I lowered my eyes to him, my head swimming at the only part of her greeting that I actually heard “You mean you can brew potions to increase sex drive?”She looked confused. “Well of course! We are trying to save our people from extinction, which means we must mate as often as possible. We find the task can become arduous after eight or nine couplings. The potions are what keep us going. Why, it’s in the bath we’re soaking in now.”I thought I was having a small aneurism. “I knew it!” I shouted stupidly. “I thought I was losing my mind! ↗

— Alisha Basso

#libido-issues #funny

It seems to me, thinking of it, that there must be some universal plan which set in motion the orbiting of the electrons about the nucleus and the slower, more majestic orbit of the galaxies about one another to the very edge of space. ↗

— Clifford D. Simak

#another #edge #electrons #galaxies #majestic

James Bond has a license to kill, rockstars have a license to be outrageous. Rock is about grabbing people's attention. ↗

— Gene Simmons

#attention #bond #grabbing #james #james bond

Albert Camus, a great humanist and existentialist voice, pointed out that to commit to a just cause with no hope of success is absurd. But then, he also noted that not committing to a just cause is equally absurd. But only one choice offers the possibility for dignity. And dignity matters. Dignity matters. ↗

— David Simon

#albert #also #cause #choice #commit

The day you take complete responsibility for yourself, the day you stop making any excuses, that's the day you start to the top. ↗

— O. J. Simpson

#complete #day #excuses #making #responsibility

He was one of those men, and they are not the commonest, of whom we can know the best only by following them away from the marketplace, the platform, and the pulpit, entering with them into their own homes, hearing the voice with which they speak to the young and aged about their own hearthstone, and witnessing their thoughtful care for the everyday wants of everyday companions, who take all their kindness as a matter of course, and not as a subject for panegyric. ↗

— George Eliot

#humility #lifestyle #relationships #age

A blanket could be used as a bathtub tarp, keeping all the body’s heat in, and the police’s and murder victim’s wife’s eyes out.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick is a fraction of a building, and a brick is like a building—if you're like an ant.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

If an honest man is the noblest work of God, then Mr. Lincoln's title to high nobility is clear and unquestioned. ↗

— Matthew Simpson

#god #high #honest #honest man #lincoln

A brick could be used to block out the pain, if you use it to first inflict pain and carry it through to coma. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny