#batter

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#battery #car #go #guarantees #live

Sex is full of lies. The body tries to tell the truth. But, it's usually too battered with rules to be heard, and bound with pretenses so it can hardly move. We cripple ourselves with lies. ↗

— Jim Morrison

#body #bound #cripple #full #hardly

I said, 'Okay, it's the year 2000, I'm getting a computer and a Palm Pilot.' I know how to check my e-mail, and I've listed some phone numbers on it. Half the time the battery has gone out so I can't use it. ↗

— Marc Jacobs

#check #computer #e-mail #getting #gone

I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.' ↗

— Demetri Martin

#batteries #cause #confusion #foreigners #hard