#ball

Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well. ↗

— P. G. Wodehouse

#ball #faithfully #go #god #golf

Boston got Roberts on the July 31 trade deadline—exchanging prospect Henri Stanley for the fleet-footed outfielder. Roberts fittingly got 86 at bats for Boston, but it was his speed on the bases that the Red Sox sought—and it was his speed that brought to an end 86 years of frustration for the Fenway Faithful. ↗

— Tucker Elliot

#boston-red-sox #dave-roberts #faith

I was also sick of my neighbors, as most Parisians are. I now knew every second of the morning routine of the family upstairs. At 7:00 am alarm goes off, boom, Madame gets out of bed, puts on her deep-sea divers’ boots, and stomps across my ceiling to megaphone the kids awake. The kids drop bags of cannonballs onto the floor, then, apparently dragging several sledgehammers each, stampede into the kitchen. They grab their chunks of baguette and go and sit in front of the TV, which is always showing a cartoon about people who do nothing but scream at each other and explode. Every minute, one of the kids cartwheels (while bouncing cannonballs) back into the kitchen for seconds, then returns (bringing with it a family of excitable kangaroos) to the TV. Meanwhile the toilet is flushed, on average, fifty times per drop of urine expelled. Finally, there is a ten-minute period of intensive yelling, and at 8:15 on the dot they all howl and crash their way out of the apartment to school.” (p.137) ↗

— Stephen Clarke

#bed #cannonball #cartoon #cartwheel #ceiling

What cracks me up is people who think I don't take baseball seriously. It's the most important thing in my life. They don't know how hard it is for me to get a bad game out of my mind. I still can't, but I'm getting better. ↗

— Brady Anderson

#bad game #baseball #better #cracks #game

They've drunk everything in the house, including a pitcher of African violet plant food I'd just mixed up and was stupid enough to leave on the counter." Tremaine punched Eddie in the shoulder. "I told you it tasted weird." Eddie shrugged. "Tasted okay to me. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#humor #matchmaker #food

I’m building a hot air balloon out of my love for you. I’m starting with the hot air, and then I’m going to surround that with saran wrap, because after all, I’m only using leftovers.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#hot-air-balloon #leftovers #love #saran-wrap #food

I feel his arm Lightly Over me. He takes one of my outstretched hands. Draws it beneath my stomach. "One more time..." This is not sex, Not friendship. Something Strange Special In the stillness of his breath, The waterlike way he moves. He is making a dance. We are making a dance. ↗

— Stasia Ward Kehoe

#dance #friendship

lay it on me" "I was trying to. Geez, woman, make up your mind," Fane hold her, eyes glowing. She threw one hand up to hold him off. "I meant your idea, fur ball, not your delectable body. ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#fur-balls #funny

..when the first rubber ball smacked her in the head and made her brains rattle in her skull, she knew that something about this dodgeball game was different ↗

— Michael Buckley

#funny #michael-buckley #funny

She began to curl her hair and long for balls ↗

— Jane Austen

#dirty #funny #funny