#bagel

If my love were a bagel, I’d put cream cheese on it. But it’s not a bagel, so I just put cheddar on top. Would you like to try a sample?
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— Jarod Kintz

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#breakfast #cheddar #cheese #cream-cheese #love

Eating a plain bagel with no cream cheese is like eating the inner tube of a bicycle tire, and I’d rather ride my roller skates to work. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

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#bagel #funny #funny

I don’t need a steak knife to cut my meat. That’s why karate chops were created. I’m like a butter knife, only slightly less deadly. But I’m great with bagels—and disobedient old people.
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— Jarod Kintz

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#bagels #butter #butter-knife #creation #deadly