#ay

Well, we have a saying where we come from," said Louise. "Curiosity killed the cat." "And satisfaction brought him back," Been added. ↗

— W.D. Newman

#saying #humor

My mother always advised me not to trust a dead person. ↗

— Jayde Scott

#humor #jayde-scott #humor

A hug a day keeps the bad boys away. ↗

— Jim Anderson

#day #hug #humor #inspirational #humor

Father, we come to You, Father, in the name of the Father, Father we come to You, Father, Father, just, just, Father, Father...' You don't talk to you friends like that. 'Ed, Ed, come over, Ed, Ed, Ed, you are, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, ooh, Ed, Ed, Ed' - he wouldn't be your friend anymore if you did that! Like, 'You keep saying Ed...my name's Joe! ↗

— Tim Hawkins

#humor #praying #humor

You worked every day to earn what's on the table, literally. It was a week-to-week thing. And I wouldn't change it. I would not change it for anything. ↗

— Scott Brooks

#change #day #earn #every #every day

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act. ↗

— James Agate

#cannot #conceal #director #engaged #fact

You freaking bit me," I said, my voice hoarse. "You're lucky I don't call animal control. ↗

— Jayde Scott

#humor #jayde-scott #vampire #humor

My birthday is on a holiday, I just have to wait until I die and they commemorate me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#commemorate #death #holiday #humor #immortalize

Not only is he mentally challenged, all he has is a couple of scary fangs and absolutely no idea what kind of fire is in this furnace. ↗

— Jayde Scott

#humor #jayde-scott #humor

I didn't want readers to have to make allowances for what they couldn't see, but to be able to say to themselves that the fabric of the magic detailed was perfectly believable. ↗

— Terry Brooks

#allowances #believable #detailed #fabric #i