#awesome

I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the bar, I found myself face to face with two huge boobs. They weren’t the breasts of a young woman, but those of an old man. Still, the taste of a nipple is genderless.
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— Jarod Kintz

#alcohol #awesome #bar #bizarre #drinking

Pics or it didn't happen." "Dude, little busy for pics. You know, throwing flame. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#black-dawn #flame-throwers #michael-glass #shane-collins #business

unless someone like you comes around, things will never change. ↗

— Dr. Seuss

#movies #change

I don't care what people say about how I look or even their opinion on my relationship. But the moment you judge my character is when we have a problem. ↗

— Rachelle Friedman

#bully #character #courage #courage

Drop the fucking weapon, you fucking motherfucker or I'll fucking scramble your fucking brains. Hands up! Hands where I can fucking see them, you fucking cocksucker. You fucking breathe wrong, you fucking blink wrong, and I will fuck you up. Fucker." Jacobsen snarled it as he shoved Marcell to the ground. "On your fucking face, you fucking shit coward. Stream my lieutenant in the fucking back? Fuck you. ↗

— J.D. Robb

#eve-and-roarke #in-death-series #death

Life’s too short, we should always forgive the other; it’s horrible having to die, regretting not to have forgiven. ↗

— Luca Piras

#forgiveness

Google “brooklyn writer” and you’ll get, Did you mean: the future of literature as we know it? ↗

— Colson Whitehead

#brooklyn #funny #writers #funny

I don’t worry about identity theft, because I don’t even know who I am as a person. So if I’m not even in possession of my own identity, how can it be stolen from me?
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #random #random-thought

There may be a sucker born every minute, but every 30 seconds a lollipop pops out.
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #random #random-thought

She asked if I found what she was telling me very exciting, and I managed to yelp out “very” while yawning.
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #random #random-thought