#ash

Fashion Tip Number 12: Gray is not the color to wear if you want to get noticed in a smoky, dingy dungeon. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fashion #funny #humor #funny

I'm all skin and whalebone. I like to strut around the house in nothing but a corset. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny

People can be so emotionally unintelligent. When I ask them how they’re doing they just make brusque comments like “I’m good, thanks.” After years of trying to get cashiers to talk about their feelings and having to deal with the bottled-up aggression of the customers behind me, I’ve lost all faith in humanity’s ability to connect with each other at the checkout counter. ↗

— Bauvard

#cashiers #funny #humor #faith

She’s my mate; that makes her mine. Forgetting that will see your neck no longer serving its purpose.” “I love it when you talk dirty,” she purred. “Give my regards to Lindsay. ↗

— Sylvia Day

#lindsay #vashti #love

The test of someone’s authenticity is to wait until they think you’re not looking, then check the tag under their collar. ↗

— Bauvard

#fashion #funny #humor #funny

Money is seen as a great evil. But I've never seen a pile of cash stab someone. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#evil #funny #humor #money #funny

When wearing a loincloth is not customary, it is risque. Being old-fashioned never goes out of style. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #loincloths #old-fashioned #style #underwear

We're all headed for the junkyard. But not me. When that time comes, I'm crashing into the car dealership. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #junkyards #trash #funny

And besides . . . I don’t want to leave you. Er, you guys.” He smiled, and it lit up his whole face. “Well, ‘we’ are certainly happy to hear that. Oh, and I’m also happy to watch our darling little love child dragon while you’re in St. Louis.” I grinned back. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#awww #contentment #conversation #humor #love

Oh... Adrian, I've got one more favor to ask you. A big one." "Fondue?" he asked hopefully. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#favors #humor #sydney-sage #humor