#arkin

When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#bathroom #call #child #dog #doing

I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far. ↗

— Billy Connolly

#angels #believe #far #flap #give

The tests which showed that this was the only rifle which had the markings which were shown on the bullets; the fact that a man was seen by several witnesses, not identified, but seen in the window with the general description of what he looked like. ↗

— John Sherman Cooper

#description #fact #general #had #identified

So, the point I'm making is, we are not going to cut spending in Washington if we think it's the job of every congressman and senator is to pave local parking lots and build local sewer plants. These parochial interests are getting in the way of the national interests. ↗

— Jim DeMint

#congressman #cut #every #getting #going

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. ↗

— Bill Vaughan

#fellow #gets #parking #patriot #real

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. ↗

— Bill Vaughan

#baseball #business #executives #master #maybe

We have common enemies today. It's called childhood poverty. It's called cancer. It's called AIDS. It's called Parkinson's. It's called Muscular Dystrophy. ↗

— Jerry Doyle

#called #cancer #childhood #common #muscular

What you do is, you have your drawing board and a pencil in hand at the telescope. You look in and you make some markings on the paper and you look in again. ↗

— Clyde Tombaugh

#board #drawing #hand #look #make

The planets are never the same twice, they're always different, so they could compare the markings I had drawn with their current photographs and they knew that I was drawing what I was really seeing and it wasn't copied from somewhere. ↗

— Clyde Tombaugh

#compare #copied #could #current #different

Real shapes and real patterns are things you would observe in nature, like the marks on the back of a cobra's hood or the markings on a fish or a lizard. Imaginary shapes are just that, symbols that come to a person in dreams or reveries and are charged with meaning. ↗

— Jim Woodring

#charged #come #dreams #fish #hood