#aria

I was just turned last week. I'm a librarian." He stilled, as if I'd just told him I was the inventor of the tube top. "I watched a movie about a librarian once. Well, she was a librarian by day, a call girl by--" I stopped him with a quick lift of an eyebrow. "If you finish that sentence, we cannot be friends. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #librarians #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

Friend, we are well met indeed. I think we are a pair of fools and that we should hasten to Nildren's Peak, where I shall buy ye such a dinner as even your great frame will find sufficient. And then we shall see who can drink the other under the table. Is that good by ye? ↗

— Ian Livingstone

#barbarians #carl-sargent #dwarves #funny #ian-livingstone

Utilitarianism: If we Britiash were Utilitarians we would have to believe that imprisoning the innocent and torturing suspects was justified if the Home Secretary thought it a good thing for our peace of mind. ↗

— William Donaldson

#home

Librarians are the secret masters of the world. They control information. Don't ever piss one off. ↗

— Spider Robinson

#librarians #humor

The alarm in the morning? Well, I have an old tape of Carlo Maria Giulini conducting the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra in a perfectly transcendent version in Shubert's seventh symphony. And I've rigged it up so that at exactly 7:30 every morning it falls from the ceiling onto my face. ↗

— Stephen Fry

#carlo-maria-giulini #humor #mornings #music #schubert

There are memories that time can't erase, Clarissa. Ask your friend, Magnus Bane, if you don't believe me. Forever does not make loss forgettable. Only bearable. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #magnus-bane

Trivia monologue. You are so the man for me. ↗

— Molly Harper

#librarian #trivia #useless-information #vampire-romance #librarians

Not all librarians are evil cultists. Some librarians are instead vengeful undead who want to suck your soul. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor #librarians #humor

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians--except for the occasional mountain lion steak. ↗

— Ted Nugent

#humor #hunting #meat #vegetarians #humor

Someone out there was about to find that their worst nightmare was a maddened Librarian. With a badge. ↗