#andre

Audrey turned to him, a sly little spark hiding in her eyes. "THe only man who gets to call me'love' would be waking up next to me after a very, very fun night. Fun night. Oh yes. "Guess what?" She leaned closer. "You will never be that man. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#fate-s-edge #fun #funny #ilona-andrews #kaldar

Breaking into the house in the middle of the night just wasn't his style. He did his best work in plain view, and, usually, his tongue was doing most of it. Now that was an interesting thought. Heh. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#funny #ilona-andrews #kaldar #the-edge #tongue

A forest," William said, his expression distant. "Where the ground is dry soil and stone. Where tall trees grow and centuries of autumn carpet their roots. Where the wind smells of game and wildflowers." "Why, that was lovely, Lord Bill. Do you ever write poetry? Something for your blueblood lady?" "No." "She doesn't like poetry?" "Leave it." Hehe. "Oh, so you have a lady. How interes-- ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#cerise #funny #ilona-andrews #the-edge #william

Just stay close to us. If we get in trouble, we'll kill everything. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#cerise #fate-s-edge #funny #ilona-andrews #the-edge

An evil spark flared in his eyes. "Trade: raccoon for some answers. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#funny #ilona-andrews #kaldar #raccoon #the-edge

This doesn't mean you're getting a discount." Audrey heaved a mock sigh. "Oh well. I guess I'll have to ply you with sexual favors, then." Gnome choked on the soup. "I'm old enough to be your grandfather!" Audrey winked at him, gathering the empty bags. "But you're not. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#fate-s-edge #funny #gnome #ilona-andrews #the-edge

Don't worry about being nervous. A lot of vampires have trouble with this from time to time. It happens to everyone." "If I was a forty-year-old man suffering from erectile dysfunction, that would be a great comfort to me, thanks. ↗

— Molly Harper

#erectile-dysfunction #funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

Let me also say I wanna make you sandwhiches, And soup, And peanut butter cookies, Though, the truth is peanutbutter is actually really bad for you 'cause they grow peanuts in old cotton fields to clean the toxins out of the soil, But hey, you like peanutbutter and I like you! ↗

— Andrea Gibson

#love #poem #love

May I say that I am delighted that my favorite alpha is feeling better. Why, you'll be running recklessly into danger against overwhelming odds anytime now. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#kate #ilona-andrews

I got a dog-training book. It says Grendel needs mental stimulation, so I tried to train him, but I think he must be retarded. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#grendel #kate #ilona-andrews