#amp

Do you really think anyone needs some kind of notarized statement saying 'Dear Saint Peter, here's another stiff, pass him through the gates, signed, Father McGonnigill.'...'PS: He once had a hot dog on a Friday, but don't hold that against him.' ↗

— P. N. Elrod

#funerals #lady-crymsyn #religion-philosophy #vampire-files #death

He thought of his wife, of his son, of his youth. He thought of life. He thought of death and then he thought of life again. ↗

— Teodor Flonta

#life #love #secret-police #transylvania #vampires

That's what people do when they find a special place that wild and full of life, they trample it to death. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#wild #wildlife #death

Katie purred in pleasure as she licked the beating vein in Jared’s neck. ↗

— Jodie B. Cooper

#elf #fantasy #funny #sidhi #teenage-love

Bruno: Shannon (Elizabeth week 7 of 6th season of DWTS) the tango really is a bitch of dance to master. and i am happy to say : this was fascinating. you were like a silent movie vamp, "i love you, i leave you, i dont care!" that was right. that's the way to go. Tom: you know, i bet you've had that fight all by yourself frequently ↗

— Bruno Tonioli

#dancing #shannon-elizabeth #silent-movie #stars #tango

Want to play baseball?’” she asked. Shane’s eyes opened, and he stopped stroking her hair. “What?’” “First base,’” she said. “You’re already there.’” “I’m not running the bases.’” “Well, you could at least steal second.’” “Jeez, Claire. I used to distract myself with sports stats at times like these, but now you’ve gone and ruined it. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganvillevampires #sweet #funny

We have had this discussion before. You are my son. I love you. I will always love you. But I also love Nell, and if you give her the chance and stop rejecting her advances, she will take you into her heart as well." "Oh, yeah, like he's going to allow me to do that," I muttered ↗

— Katie MacAlister

#denial #love #nell #vampires #love

Death stalked toward us on padded feet.        And it was not alone. ↗

— Melika Dannese Lux

#death #hybrid-vampires #leonora-bianchetti #showdown #vladec-salei

What you feel for me, is it caused by your vampirism, or do you yourself feel that way? Because, I mean, I guess I AM, technically, like a walking hamburger. Who wouldn't want a free meal?" I asked tentatively. ↗

— J.L. McCoy

#vampire #humor

No,” said the figure. “You seriously don’t recognize me?” I looked at him closely: the pale face, the cape, the red eyes, the ridiculously large fangs. I couldn’t place him. “Um, do I know you from work?” I strained to remember if he was one of my co-workers. I strained to remember if I had a job. “Goodness gravy, Belle—I sit next to you everyday in English!” “I’m sorry—every face at school kind of blends into one conglomerate dull face except for the face of Edwart Mullen, the love of my life. ↗

— Harvard Lampoon

#nightlight #parody #twilight #life