#amp

I dodged behind Mac for cover and refused to take the bait. I glanced at my nonexistent watch. 'Oops, look at the time. Guess I have to be going now. Let's not do this again sometime, okay?' Before I could move, Pritkin was there, jamming the medallion into the skin of my upper arm.'Ow!'He looked at me expectantly. I glared at him. 'That hurt!' What do you see?' A big red mark, ↗

— Karen Chance

#fiction #humor #romance #supernatural #vampire

Well, friend, I don’t know about your tastes, but I tend to like it very bloody,” Myrnin said. He shifted position, dragging Claire along like a rag doll without any effort at all. “Have we been introduced?” “Probably not. Why, are you asking me out, sweetheart?” “You’re not my type, darling. Is this one yours?” “No,” Frank said, and looked at Shane, just in a quick flicker. “Let’s say she’s a friend of the family. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass

With great hotness comes great responsibility. ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#spiderman #vampires #humor

The Lone Ranger of vampires. Did that make me Tonto? ↗

— Robin McKinley

#lone-ranger #vampires #humor

If you can't be a good example then you'll have to be a terrible warning. ↗

— Suzanne Braun Levine

#humor #humor

Being the evil undead wasn't fun anymore. For one thing, it was increasingly hard to get a library card. ↗

— Sharon Ashwood

#vampires #humor

Abraham," he said. "I'm pleased to see you alive, old friend." "And I to see you dead. ↗

— Seth Grahame-Smith

#vampires #humor

I am tempted to incapacitate him with the hemlock and then castrate him.” Lena paled. “I don’t think that would be very wise,” she said. “And the only knife we own is what I use for the cooking. You’re not using that.” “I was planning on using a spoon,” Honoria replied. ↗

— Bec McMaster

#steampunk #wicked #humor

You freaking bit me," I said, my voice hoarse. "You're lucky I don't call animal control. ↗

— Jayde Scott

#humor #jayde-scott #vampire #humor

I don’t want to be your snack, your chew-toy, your fuck-buddy. Find a vampire to sink your fang into. ↗

— Nalini Singh

#humor #power #sex #vampires #humor