#all

There is a tiger in my room,' said Frances. 'Did he bite you?' said Father. 'No,' said Frances. 'Did he scratch you?' said Mother. 'No,' said Frances. 'Then he is a friendly tiger,' said Father. 'He will not hurt you. Go back to sleep. ↗

— Russell Hoban

#children-s-literature #humor #stalling #tigers #humor

The werewolf pointed at a bench next to the door into the Kirkwoods’ tomb. “Sit. Wait.” Did I mention werewolves were chatty? ↗

— Mindee Arnett

#just-kidding-not-really #supernatural #humor

Sometimes I had difficulty remembering that "all you can eat" is not a personal challenge. ↗

— Marika Christian

#gluttony #humor #humor

Now I understand why King Stannis let the wildlings through the Wall. He means for us to eat them. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humor #stannis-baratheon #wall #wildlings #humor

Like sheep, sidhe-seers herd by nature, until you *want* them to go somewhere. Then they're all fluffy bottoms and broken. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#humor #humor

You're quite tall.' Just what a girl wants to be reminded of. ↗

— Libba Bray

#relatable #tall #beauty

What flaw could you possibly find in his appearance?" "His posture," Hannah muttered. "What about it?" "He slouches." "He's an American. They all slouch. The weight of their wallets drags them over. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor #posture #wallets #humor

What in god’s name happened to your nuts?” “They met a jet-powered water hose.” He grimaced. “They’re already healing.” A rare glint of amusement lit Lawrence’s eyes. “You have balls of steel.” “You have inappropriate humour. ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#humor #humour #nuts #torture #humor

I'm still trying to figure out the secret relationship between the woman and the mall! ↗

— Ibrahim Taha

#ibrahim-taha #puzzled #quotes #saying #shopping

We want to fight.” “And I want J.K. Rowling to keep writing in the Potterverse, but I know that’s never going to happen,” I said blithely. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#fallen-legion #fantasy #fiction #humor #j-k-rowling