#aliens

The thing that has impacted life on earth the most is life on mars. That’s where the government is storing all my clones.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clones #earth #government #life #mars

I was on the floor. "Um, a little help?" Christopher put his hand down. Martini cleared his throat and Christopher's hand retracted. "I can handle it, thanks." "There's nothing amorous about pulling someone off the floor," Christopher muttered. "There is when I do it. ↗

— Gini Koch

#humor #sci-fi #humor

If only I had the speed that my alien boyfriend had, then I could just zip through my senior year and forget about distance and mom’s annoyingly great sense of hearing. But when said alien boyfriend was in my bed, I wanted nothing more than the opposite speed. I wanted to freeze time to keep everything just the way it was. ↗

— Magan Vernon

#humor #teen-romance #young-adult #humor

Man has gone out to explore other worlds and other civilizations without having explored his own labyrinth of dark passages and secret chambers, and without finding what lies behind doorways that he himself has sealed. ↗

— Stanisław Lem

#closed-mindedness #discovery #humanity #ignorance #mankind

Ambulances were cool. “You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT as I picked up a silver gadget that looked disturbingly like an alien orifice probe, broke it, then promptly put it back, hoping it wouldn’t leave someone’s life hanging in the balance because the EMT couldn’t alien-probe his orifices. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor #humor

What in the blue star-blazes did you see in Jason?" he asked, still forcefully but with his frustration and jealousy under better control. "For one thing, Djetth, he wasn't trying to kill me!" ("Marsh", heroine of Insufficient Mating Material) ↗

— Rowena Cherry

#aliens #fantasy #futuristic #humor #humour

Kitty, do you have the bottle?" "In my purse. Which is in my room. Not that I think I can find my room from here." "I'll get it," Martini said. He stood up and disappeared. Ten seconds later he was back, bottle in hand. "What kept you?" "That purse gets worse every time I look inside. ↗

— Gini Koch

#humor #sci-fi #humor

My space chums think reality was once a primitive method of crowd control that got out of hand. In my view, it’s absurdity dressed up in a three-piece business suit. ↗

— Jane Wagner

#reality #business

Stop kicking me! I do not want to pee right now! ↗

— Martin Leicht

#humor #humor