#alcohol

And so Harry became proficient in the task of cleaning up vomit. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #skills #humor

I am not your victim because you are not a predator any more than a bottle of scotch stalks an alcoholic. ↗

— Sue William Silverman

#alcohol #love #sex #love

There is more food in a pennyworth of bread than in a gallon of ale. ↗

— Joseph Livesey

#alcohol #ale #bread #food #nourishment

I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldn’t understand why the happiness never came, couldn’t see the flaw in my thinking, couldn’t see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn’t made me feel good in years. ↗

— Heather King

#alcohol

Blackouts can be fun if approached with the right mindset. You just can't sweat the fact that you've lost a small portion of your life for all eternity. Occasionally, little bubbles of memory will float up like surreal Mylar party balloons at unexpected times throughout the net day and start piecing together a colorful, if incomplete, version of reality. ↗

— Josh Kilmer-Purcell

#alcoholism #blackout #drugs #funny #humor

Being upright and uncompromising will lead to unemployment by themselves. But to be willfully ignorant of a calling in life as well, that is the denial of a born alcoholic. ↗

— Bauvard

#callings #denial #funny #humor #jobs

Water is not as life-giving as alcohol, or as widespread. But it is more ethical to use as an industrial solvent. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #solvents #water #funny

It was your choice to sleep with her Gavin! It didn't just happen! ↗

— Belinda G. Buchanan

#alcoholism #contemporary-romance #infidelity #medical-romance #infidelity

It's 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is? ↗

— Amy Neftzger

#drinking #friday #humor #humorous #margarita

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers and boys used to dress like their fathers. Now girls drink like their fathers and boys dress like their mothers. ↗

— Habeeb Akande

#boys #clothes #clothing #cook #dress