#albino

I love like an albino. But I don’t want to get sunburned, so would you please pass the ketchup? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#albino #funny #humor #love #surrealism

I went on a blind date last night. We watched a silent film. We stayed up all night talking in sign language. I fell asleep in the fetal position in her cat's litter box. Ah, 'twas a great night. I'll never forget dancing with an albino under the stars. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blind-date #cats #dancing #date #dating

Love is like trying to wrestle an albino. It’s tough because they’re slippery and all lubed up with sunscreen.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#albino #love #lube #slip #slippery

The moon is an orbital albino, and it gets tons of sunlight, so I propose Operation Sunscreen, where astronauts coat the surface of the moon with a protective layer of sunscreen. If you care about albinos and the environment, you’ll see this is a good idea. And hey, it’s a better use of taxpayer funds than bailing out private banks.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#albino #bailout #moon #environment

Do I attribute my success to hard work, or sunscreen? If you want the truth, maybe you should ask my new albino secretary. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#ask #hard-work #secretary #success #sunscreen

My erection at noon causes an elongated shadow so black you’d think I was an albino. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#albino #erection #funny #humor #noon