#aim

Her name is Brienne," Jaime said. "Brienne, the maid of Tarth. You are still maiden, I hope?" Her broad homely face turned red. "Yes." "Oh, good," Jaime said. "I only rescue maidens. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#brienne-of-tarth #humor #jaime-lannister #rescue #humor

One of the highlights of the first Good Omens tour was Neil and I walking through New York singing Shoehorn with Teeth. Well, we'd had a good breakfast. And you don't get mugged, either. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#new-york-city #shoehorn-with-teeth #they-might-be-giants #new-york-city

You just put that sword away, sir, please," said the voice of Lance-Constable Vimes. "You will not shoot me, you young idiot. That would be murder," said the captain calmly. "Not where I'm aiming, sir. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humor

As the crow flies. That’s how she liked to walk. So what if she had nowhere to go? So what if no one on earth knew or probably cared where she was or when she’d get home? That wasn’t the point. It didn’t mean she had to take the long way. She was starting a new school in the morning, and she meant to put as much distance between herself and tomorrow as she could. Walking fast didn’t stop the earth’s slow roll, but sometimes it felt like it could. ↗

— Francine Pascal

#alone #distance #tomorrow #walking #home

His gaze swept her head to toe. “You’re wearing my colors, love.” He stalked forward and leaned down to brush her cheek with a kiss. “Soon you’ll be wearing me,” he whispered for her ears only. ↗

— Rebecca Zanetti

#claimed #dark-protectors #paranormal-romance #sexy #vampire

Warrington’s aim’s so pathetic I’d be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#quidditch #humor

What’s this ” “A needle.” “What should I do with it ” He’d walked right into it. Too easy. “Please use it to pop your head. It’s obscuring my view of the room. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate-daniels #saiman #humor

God moves in extremely mysterious, not to say, circuitous ways. God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, ie., everybody, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#gaiman #god #humor #humor

Noseless and Handless, the Lannister Boys. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#a-storm-of-swords #game-of-thrones #humor #humorous-quotes #jaime-lannister

Some police forces would believe anything. Not the Metropolitan police, though. The Met was the hardest, most cynically pragmatic, most stubbornly down-to-earth police force in Britain. It would take a lot to phase a copper from the Met. It would take, for example, a huge, battered car that was nothing more nor less than a fireball, a blazing, roaring, twisted metal lemon from Hell, driven by a grinning lunatic in sunglasses, sitting amid the flames, trailing thick black smoke, coming straight at them through the lashing rain and wind at eighty miles an hour. That would do it every time. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#good-omens #humor #neil-gaiman #terry-pratchett #humor