#aid

They used to say it was bad for Indians to drink, but it's bad for anybody. When they drink they lose their cool, a lot of us. Like when we played with Sonny Boy, I would never get paid, you know. He would drink up all the money. ↗

— Ike Turner

#bad #boy #cool #drink #get

All my life people have said that I wasn't going to make it. ↗

— Ted Turner

#i #life #make #my life #people

When the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said "Let us pray." We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land. ↗

— Desmond Tutu

#africa #bible #came #closed #eyes

When you've paid your debt to society, you need to be reconnected and re-engaged in society. ↗

— Tom Vilsack

#need #paid #society #you #your

Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet. ↗

— Tim Vine

#cabinet #chairs #dentist #down #filing

So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: I can't make Tuesdays.' ↗

— Tim Vine

#gym #how #i #instructor #make

So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.' ↗

— Tim Vine

#home #i #phone #picked #please

I remember Mick Jagger asking me 'hey, how do you guys feel about us coming over here and taking all the play from you guys?' I said 'Well, in a way, you have eliminated all my competition. ↗

— Bobby Vinton

#asking #coming #competition #eliminated #feel

He asked why and I said, 'Because Gwyneth has a fat suit, my wife has a fat suit - I don't get a fat suit?' He looked at me and said, 'You mean you don't have one on?' ↗

— Joe Viterelli

#because #fat #get #gwyneth #i

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#bitter #could #disappointment #exists #laughter