#aid

So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.' ↗

— Tim Vine

#home #i #phone #picked #please

I remember Mick Jagger asking me 'hey, how do you guys feel about us coming over here and taking all the play from you guys?' I said 'Well, in a way, you have eliminated all my competition. ↗

— Bobby Vinton

#asking #coming #competition #eliminated #feel

He asked why and I said, 'Because Gwyneth has a fat suit, my wife has a fat suit - I don't get a fat suit?' He looked at me and said, 'You mean you don't have one on?' ↗

— Joe Viterelli

#because #fat #get #gwyneth #i

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#bitter #could #disappointment #exists #laughter

Like Lincoln, I would like to believe the ballot is stronger than the bullet. Then again, he said that before he got shot. ↗

— Sarah Vowell

#ballot #before #believe #bullet #got

I've decided to listen to my doctors and get the procedure I need on my knee. USA Basketball said I had to do what was best for me. They want me to be obviously as healthy as possible so I can continue to play this game at a high level. ↗

— Dwyane Wade

#best #continue #decided #doctors #game

He's a legend and I respect his work, so I went down and paid my respects when Charlton was on the set. He was nice but I think he lied a little. He said it was an honour to be in a movie with me, but I don't believe it. ↗

— Mark Wahlberg

#charlton #down #his #honour #i

I did a lot of things that I regretted and I certainly paid for my mistakes. You have to go and ask for forgiveness and it wasn't until I really started doing good and doing right, by other people as well as myself, that I really started to feel that guilt go away. So I don't have a problem going to sleep at night. ↗

— Mark Wahlberg

#away #certainly #did #doing #doing good

I don't wanna hear nobody complain that they're getting paid all this money and people won't leave them alone. It's part of it. ↗

— Mark Wahlberg

#complain #getting #hear #i #leave

But then I'm one of those guys that is still a bit afraid of the telephone, its implications for conversation. I still wonder if the jukebox might be the death of live music. ↗

— Tom Waits

#bit #conversation #death #guys #i