#ah

Do you really think he was flirting with me?" "Let's see. He gave you candy you hate - I saw your face - and a CD of songs..." He looks at the CD. "All of these are, like, twenty years old at least. Figures. Oh, and he groped your face. Sounds like true love to me. ↗

— Elizabeth Scott

#hannah #humour #josh #love

The utterance of God is a lamp, whose light is these words: Ye are the fruits of one tree, and the leaves of one branch. Deal ye one with another with the utmost love and harmony, with friendliness and fellowship. ... So powerful is the light of unity that it can illuminate the whole earth. ↗

— Bahá'u'lláh

#love #religious #unity #virtues #love

But unfriendly is usually one of those things you pick up on right away. You know, like B.O. There's no hiding it if it's there. ↗

— Sarah Dessen

#lock-and-key #nate-cross #sarah-dessen #humor

I was taken to an examining room where a big butch nurse practitioner came in and asked me if I was pregnant. “No way!” Was I sexually active? “Nope!” Had I ever been molested? “Well,” I said, trying to make a joke, “Oprah says the only answers to that question are ‘Yes’ and ‘I don’t remember.’ ” I laughed. We were having fun. The nurse looked at me, concerned/annoyed. ↗

— Tina Fey

#oprah #oprah-winfrey #humor

there was an assumption that I was personally attacking Sarah Palin by impersonating her on TV. No one ever said it was 'mean' when Chevy Chase played Gerald Ford falling down all the time. No one ever accused Dana Carvey or Darrell Hammond or Dan Aykroyd of 'going too far' in their political impressions. You see what I'm getting at here. I am not mean and Mrs. Palin is not fragile. To imply otherwise is a disservice to us both. ↗

— Tina Fey

#dan-aykroyd #dana-carvey #darrell-hammond #humor #sarah-palin

I'm a pessimistic person, I see the glass half empty even when it's full. ↗

— Nigahiga

#humor #niga #nigahiga #ryan #humor

I have lived as plain Mr. Jinnah and I hope to die as plain Mr. Jinnah. I am very much averse to any title or honours and I will be more than happy if there was no prefix to my name. ↗

— Muhammad Ali Jinnah

#jinnah #title #humor

I'm still trying to figure out the secret relationship between the woman and the mall! ↗

— Ibrahim Taha

#ibrahim-taha #puzzled #quotes #saying #shopping

Lissa lowered her voice and added, "I might not even go to school anyway. I might defer and join the Peace Corps and go to Africa and shave my head and dig latrines." "Shave your head?" I said, because, really, this was the most ludicrous part of the whole thing. "You? Do you have any idea how ugly most people's bare heads are? They've got all kinds of bumps, Lissa. And you won't know until it's too late and you're flat-out bald. ↗

— Sarah Dessen

#humor #lissa #remy #sarah-dessen #this-lullaby

You get to me all of the time. Always have. In all the good ways. ↗

— Helen Boswell

#love #micah #mythology #love