#age

When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first, that way in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side. ↗

— Nora Ephron

#dark-side #die #end #finish #first

Me and my grandma are getting married. Just not to each other. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#grandma #marriage #married #funny

Somehow, having a deer preside over the ceremony of a werewolf and a girl seems oddly appropriate. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#funny #humor #marriage #funny

I’m not trying to—What do teenagers say nowadays?” he asked my grandmother.“Get all up in her biznez,” Nana said.Without cracking a smile.“That’s right,” he replied. “We’re not trying to get all up in your biznez, Ali. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#grandparents #teenage-slang #funny

A loyal American wife should never be without a gun in her purse, just in case her husband turns traitor. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #loyalty #marriage #treachery #funny

Blankets have been used by companies for years for enterprise risk management because it is much easier to cover up problems than it is to identify and fix them. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #business #enterprise-risk-management

Cages, spanking benches, sawhorses, bondage tables. Scene after scene. Throaty moans, high screams, whining, whimpering, and groaning. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. All his cop instincts shouted for him to get his cuffs out and start arresting people. ↗

— Cherise Sinclair

#bondage #erotic-romance #funny #funny

It was like watching an angsty hormone-fueled train wreck and firmly cemented my resolve to be at least twenty-five before I considered getting hitched. ↗

— Stacey Jay

#funny #funny

The only thing more amorous than pretending to be marriage partners is pretending to be capitalist ones. Money is less essential for success in capitalism than in marriage, so you can amuse yourself without worry. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #love #marriage #money

I want to be more than a rose in my husband's lapel. ↗

— Margaret Trudeau

#marriage #women #life