#ada

How did you get in here?' (...) 'How I got here isn't important, because I could do it twenty times again, each time a different way. ↗

— Rachel Aaron

#badass-boast #cocky #funny #humor #funny

How long have you been with Raphael?” “You ask a lot of questions for a dead woman.” “What can I say? I prefer to die well-informed.” -Venom and Elena ↗

— Nalini Singh

#humor #nalini-singh #paranormal #sarcasm #humor

Are you going to tell me what that was about?” Adam asked as we went back upstairs. “Sometime,” I told him. “When we're telling ghost stories around a campfire, and I want to scare you. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#bone-crossed #humor #humor

I think that cadaver is only the ideal self run mad, and if the other life, the secret life, could be found and brought home, then a person might live in peace and have no need for God. After all, He has no need for us, being complete. ↗

— Jeanette Winterson

#god #jeanette-winterson #sexing-the-cherry #home

My name's Jean Tannen, and I'm the ambush. ↗

— Scott Lynch

#fantasy #humor #humor

Vortexy. "Is that even a word?" I ask myself "You're talking to yourself, so who the hell cares?" I reply ↗

— Gayle Forman

#humor #humor

You have overburdened your argument with ostentatious erudition." Spoken by Abigail Adams ↗

— David McCullough

#humor

Kelly looked at the cop, then sighed. “What a cluster. I take it you haven’t been killing young women and leaving their half-eaten bodies in the desert?” Adam was ticked. I could tell it even if he was looking like a reasonably calm businessman. Adam’s temper was the reason he wasn’t one of Bran’s werewolf poster boys. When angered, he often gave in to impulses he wouldn’t otherwise have given in to. “Sorry to disappoint you,” Adam told Kelly in silky tones. “But I prefer rabbits. Humans taste like pork.” And then he smiled. Kelly took an involuntary step backward. Tony gave Adam a sharp look. “Let’s not make things worse, if we can help it, gentlemen. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #mercy-thompson #silver-borne #tastes-like-chicken #tony

Oh, so now you’re abusing the crippled kid, huh?” Kenji takes a moment to steady himself before punching Adam in the arm. “Save your angst for the battlefield, bro. You’re going to need it. ↗

— Tahereh Mafi

#humor #kenji #humor

I try to keep in mind” I recite dryly as I run the front sight of my pistol over his face, “that my life is only as significant, as I am to the lives of others.” He’s sobbing and won’t look up from the floor so I lean close to his ear and ask softly, “Would you say that I’m significant to your life? ↗

— Dennis Sharpe

#dark-humor #torture #humor