#absurd

When I’m 42, I’ll have 21 years of experience being 21. I’ll be doubly prepared to handle myself in a bar, most likely by avoiding them altogether. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #odd #strange

And if that's what the American people want, then that's what the policy should be, of course. But the idea that anything in the United States is too sensitive to discuss or too dangerous to discuss is really, I think, absurd. ↗

— Michael Scheuer

#american #american people #anything #course #dangerous

When you look at it that way, you can see how absurd it is that we individualize ourselves with our fences and hoarded possessions. ↗

— Morrie Schwartz

#fences #how #individualize #look #our

Thus the creation, which seems an arbitrary act, supposes laws as invariable as those of the fatality of the Atheists. It would be absurd to say that the Creator might govern the world without those rules, since without them it could not subsist. ↗

— Charles de Secondat

#act #arbitrary #atheists #could #creation

That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation often becomes the height of wisdom in another. ↗

— Adlai E. Stevenson

#another #becomes #generation #height #often

Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen. ↗

— Julia Sweeney

#because #course #death #funny #funny things

At Starbucks I like ordering a “Tall venti in a grande cup.” That’s basically me asking for a small large in a medium cup.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#barista #coffee #confusion #hassle #large

Hydrogenated and androgynous milky white love is all I have to offer you. Would you like me to pour it in your coffee, or directly into your soul?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#androgynous #coffee #drink #food #generosity

I wasn’t very far away from figuring out the secret to love, no more than two miles or so, when my camel broke down and I got shot at by a pack of cigarettes. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#camel #cigarettes #figuring #love #secret

I want to hire someone to stand outside my door and knock three times, with each knock being three years apart. At the end of the nine years I’ll reply, “Who is it?” And without delay or reply, the person on the other side of the door is to find a new job. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #surreal #funny