#absurd

The other thing I like, in fact, several months ago I introduced a bill to end the absurd catch and release policy where our government has been giving tickets, essentially, to people who enter illegally and then letting them go and show up of their own volition. ↗

— John Doolittle

#ago #been #bill #catch #end

Autonomy was shopped to us. We looked at the price and thought it was absurdly high. ↗

— Larry Ellison

#autonomy #high #looked #price #thought

If you don’t know what love feels like, you’re in luck, because I just finished making a new pair of Love Gloves. They’re lined with fur and are perfect for a cold February 14th winter day. I’ll let you borrow them sometime, maybe even this summer. I recommend wearing them in conjunction with my Sensitivity Pants, which are so tight they show the emotion betrayed by your crotch. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

Whether you're gay or straight, with a physical disability, your skin's a different color, it's absurd in this age to not be aware and be concerned of the inequity in rights. ↗

— Carson Kressley

#age #aware #color #concerned #different

I blew the love trumpet until my cheeks were blue. Then I paid 34 bucks for a taxicab ride home so I could admire my receding hairline in the mirror. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #surreal #trumpet

Mr. A calls me into his office and says he's got bad news and bad news, and which do I want first. I say the bad news. ↗

— George Saunders

#bad-news #funny #humor #funny

We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #gentleman #humor #love #lovers

It is absurd to look for perfection. ↗

— Camille Pissarro

#look #perfection

I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#age #cannibal #cannibalism #death #food

Love is like breakfast with Mildred. Who’s Mildred? How the heck should I know? I don’t eat breakfast.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#breakfast #food #funny #humor #love