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#absurd

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #absurd




The bounties of space, of infinite outwardness, were three: empty heroics, low comedy, and pointless death.


Kurt Vonnegut


#life #philosophy #science #death

-My son was 32 when he died.
 -Degrees? So he froze to death, huh?


Jarod Kintz


#funny-dialogue #death

I am one pair of roses away from the grave,” I told the midget with the twelve-inch erection. It wasn’t his—he was just holding it for a friend (that impressive penis belonged to a much taller man). Ah, but that’s life, no?



Jarod Kintz


#death #erection #grave #life #midget

I hold the biscuits in front of his face and he stands up. "What do I have to do?" he says. "Nothing," I say. "They're for you." "Are they poisoned?" he says. "No," I say. "Eat one," he says. So I do. "Probably the others are poisoned," he says. "Eat a fraction of each." I eat a corner off each biscuit. He looks at the reminders suspiciously, then sniffs them. "I'm not sure it's worth it," he says. "How I wish you'd never come. Perhaps you've left the poison off of just those corners." I begin to realize I'll doubt whatever information he gives me. "Lick the entire biscuit," he says. "Then give them to me." So I lick each biscuit. "Both sides," he says. I lick both sides of each biscuit. I give him the wet biscuits and he cracks them open and sniffs them. Then he puts them in his pocket. "What do you want?" he says. "Now that you've failed to poison me to death.


George Saunders


#doubt #humor #paranoia #poisoning #death

I want to be the world’s safest fashion designer. And I always wear my seatbelt, especially when I’m in the car.


Jarod Kintz


#designer #fashion #safety #design

I’ll be waiting in my trunk, with the engine of your car.


Jarod Kintz


#car #waiting #life

The notion that faith in Christ is to be rewarded by an eternity of bliss, while a dependence upon reason, observation, and experience merits everlasting pain, is too absurd for refutation, and can be believed only by that unhappy mixture of insanity and ignorance, called faith.


Robert G. Ingersoll


#bliss #christ #eternity #faith #ignorance

All right, You Great Git, You've asked for it. I'll cover the world in Tastee-Freez and Wimpy Burgers. I'll fill it with concrete runways, motorways, aircraft, television, automobiles, advertising, plastic flowers, frozen food and supersonic bangs. I'll make it so noisy and disgusting that even You'll be ashamed of Yourself! No wonder You've so few friends. You're unbelievable!


Peter Cook


#food

Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for me to try to murder all my adoring female fans. 



Jarod Kintz


#adore #adoring #adulation #death #delusion

I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.


Woody Allen


#funny






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