#absurd

I want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can't get to them. ↗

#cages #evil #funny #illogical #innocence

I’ve often wondered why more science textbooks don’t tell teenagers that the only thing sharks like to eat more than fish, are dead prostitutes. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dead #fish #funny #humor #prostitutes

If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now." But you'd also have to remember to factor in the fact that my watch is eleven minutes fast. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#ask #fact #factor #fall-in-love #funny

Maturity is often more absurd than youth and very frequently is most unjust to youth. ↗

— Thomas A. Edison

#frequently #maturity #more #most #often

This is going to sound completely absurd, but I do sometimes feel like the enjoyment of an awards ceremony or the pride in the finished article hasn't ever surpassed the joy of doing the work, of making it. The doing it is really the bit I'm there for. ↗

— Chiwetel Ejiofor

#article #awards #bit #ceremony #completely

In Britain, a cup of tea is the answer to every problem. Fallen off your bicycle? Nice cup of tea. Your house has been destroyed by a meteorite? Nice cup of tea and a biscuit. Your entire family has been eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex that has travelled through a space/time portal? Nice cup of tea and a piece of cake. Possibly a savoury option would be welcome here too, for example a Scotch egg or a sausage roll. ↗

— David Walliams

#britishness #cake #humour #tea #tyrannosaurus-rex

Every absurdity has a champion to defend it. ↗

— Oliver Goldsmith

#champion #defend #every

The concept of absurdity is something I'm attracted to. ↗

— David Lynch

#attracted #concept #i #something

When things get so absurd and so stupid and so ridiculous that you just can't bear it, you cannot help but turn everything into a joke. ↗

— David Byrne

#bear #cannot #everything #get #help

At any street corner the feeling of absurdity can strike any man in the face. ↗