#absurd

Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#alone #bizarre #funny #hog #humor

The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg my friends to treat me that well. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blindfolded #car #friends #friendship #funny

EVERYTHING NOT FORBIDDEN IS COMPULSORY ↗

— T.H. White

#government #humor #totalitarianism #humor

I’m glad scrambled eggs don’t have lips, because when I’m grinning over a hearty breakfast, it would really freak me out to see my breakfast grinning back. I’ve eaten a man for less than that. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #breakfast #eaten #funny #grinning

Whatsoever is contrary to nature is contrary to reason, and whatsoever is contrary to reason is absurd. ↗

— Baruch Spinoza

#contrary #nature #reason #whatsoever

My love for you would blot out the sun like a cloud made out of yogurt. I hope you brought a spoon. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #blot-out #cloud #funny #humor

With anal sex, I suggest you start gently. Find a slender midget. Or a member of Congress. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#anal-sex #congress #funny #humor #politics

Imagine a society that subjects people to conditions that make them terribly unhappy then gives them the drugs to take away their unhappiness. Science fiction It is already happening to some extent in our own society. Instead of removing the conditions that make people depressed modern society gives them antidepressant drugs. In effect antidepressants are a means of modifying an individual's internal state in such a way as to enable him to tolerate social conditions that he would otherwise find intolerable. ↗

— Theodore Kaczynski

#depression #drugs #pharmaceuticals #psychiatry #psychology

Children and dogs are the messengers of God some of us do not deserve them ↗

— Ginnetta Correli

#children #god #life #life

Applaud my idiocy. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#life #life