#absurd

Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen. ↗

— Julia Sweeney

#because #course #death #funny #funny things

I wasn’t very far away from figuring out the secret to love, no more than two miles or so, when my camel broke down and I got shot at by a pack of cigarettes. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#camel #cigarettes #figuring #love #secret

I want to hire someone to stand outside my door and knock three times, with each knock being three years apart. At the end of the nine years I’ll reply, “Who is it?” And without delay or reply, the person on the other side of the door is to find a new job. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #surreal #funny

Remember the Hottentots?" asked James. "They've become the Khoi now, which means that the Germans will have to retire that wonderful word of theirs, Hottentotenpotentatenstantenattentater, which means, as you know, one who attacks the aunt of a Hottentot potentate. ↗

— Alexander McCall Smith

#humor #humor

A brick represents all the evil in the world. We should start a War on Bricks. And why not? It’s more tangible, yet just as nonsensical, as the War on Terror.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #evil #tangible #war

A brick and a blanket together create a blick. That’s it. That’s all I got. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I've knitted myself a hat, it's plum red with an appealing lace pattern, I figured that a few air holes would be nice now that it's spring. I put it on and feel like a cranberry in the snow, and I wonder if they can see me from the moon. Me and the Great Wall. ↗

— Kjersti A. Skomsvold

#funny #funny

You can sit on a brick, and milk a cow with a blanket. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#bizarre #brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses

A blanket could be used as a lovely rug, a rug that just so happens to be covering a large hole, you should really feel this rug! ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #humor