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Being a woman is worse than being a farmer there is so much harvesting and crop spraying to be done: legs to be waxed, underarms shaved, eyebrows plucked, feet pumiced, skin exfoliated and moisturised, spots cleansed, roots dyed, eyelashes tinted, nails filed, cellulite massaged, stomach muscles exercised. The whole performance is so highly tuned you only need to neglect it for a few days for the whole thing to go to seed. Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if left to revert to nature — with a full beard and handlebar moustache on each shin Dennis Healey eyebrows face a graveyard of dead skin cells spots erupting long curly fingernails like Struwelpeter blind as bat and stupid runt of species as no contact lenses flabby body flobbering around. Ugh ugh. Is it any wonder girls have no confidence?


Helen Fielding


#nature



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About Helen Fielding

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Did you know about Helen Fielding?

Fielding rejected this idea as too embarrassing[citation needed] and exposing and offered instead to create an imaginary exaggerated comic character. She studied English at St Anne's College Oxford and was part of the Oxford revue at the 1978 Edinburgh Festival forming a continuing friendship with a group of comic performers and writers including Richard Curtis and Rowan Atkinson. Directed by Sharon McGuire.

The two films of the same name have achieved worldwide success. Bridget Jones’s Diary was named as one of the ten novels that best defined the 20th century in a survey conducted by The Guardian newspaper.

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