Well," I said. "I could strip off my clothes and reveal to you that under my jeans and sweatshirt I'm actually wearing a tank top and short-shorts, much like Lara Croft from Tomb Raider... only mine are flame-retardant and covered in glow-in-the-dark dinosaur stickers." No one stirred. Not even Christopher, who actually has a thing for Lara Croft. "I know what you're thinking," I went on. "Glow-in-the-dark dinosaur stickers are SO last year. But I think they add a certain je ne sais quoi to the whole ensemble. It's true, short-shorts are uncomfortable under jeans and hard to get off in the ladies' room, but they make the twin thigh-holsters in which I hold my high-caliber pistols so easy to get to...." The oven timer dinged. "Thank you, Em," Mr. Greer said, yawning. "That was very persuasive.

— Meg Cabot

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#emerson #humor #meg #humor