This social worker lassie turns round n gies us a stroppy look. Ah jist smiles bit she looked away aw fuckin nippy likes. Disnae cost nowt tae be social. A social worker thit cannae be fuckin social; that's nae good tae nae cunt, thon. Like a lifeguard thit cannae fuckin swim. Shouldnae be daein that kinday joab.

He generally ignores the traditional conventions of literary Scots used for example by Allan Ramsay Robert Fergusson Robert Burns Robert Louis Stevenson and James Orr. Trainspotting Marabou Filth and Ecstasy. Welsh has directed several short films for bands.

He has also written plays screenplays and directed several short films. Irvine Welsh (born 27 September 1958) is a Scottish novelist playwright and short story writer.