. . . women were brought up to have only one set of manners. A woman was either a lady or she wasn't, and we all know what the latter meant. Not even momentary lapses were allowed; there is no female equivalent of the boys-will-be-boys concept.

In the column Judith Martin answers etiquette questions contributed by her readers and writes short essays on problems of manners or clarifies the essential qualities of politeness.

Judith Martin (née Perlman born September 13 1938) better known by the pen name Miss Manners is an American journalist author and etiquette authority.