Was there ever a great true love? Anyone who became the object of my obsession and not simply my affections?...I could not let myself become that unmindful. Isn't that what love is - losing your mind? You don't care what people think. You don't see your beloved's faults, the slight stinginess, the bit of carelessness, the occasional streak of meanness. You don't mind that he is beneath you socially, educationally, financially, and morally - that's the worst, I think, deficient morals.

Tan is also in a band with several other well-known writers the Rock Bottom Remainders. When Tan was 15 years old her older brother Peter and father both died of brain tumors within a year of each other. She is the second of three children born to Chinese immigrants Daisy (née Li) who was forced to leave her three daughters from a previous marriage behind in Shanghai and John Tan an electrical engineer and Baptist minister.

In addition to these Tan has written two children's books: The Moon Lady (1992) and Sagwa the Chinese Siamese Cat (1994) which was turned into an animated series which aired on PBS. Tan is also in a band with several other well-known writers the Rock Bottom Remainders. Her most recent novel Saving Fish from Drowning explores the tribulations experienced by a group of people who disappear while on an expedition in the jungles of Burma.