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Ivanov: I am a bad, pathetic and worthless individual. One needs to be pathetic, too, worn out and drained by drink, like Pasha, to be still fond of me and to respect me. My God, how I despise myself! I so deeply loathe my voice, my walk, my hands, these clothes, my thoughts. Well, isn't that funny, isn't that shocking? Less than a year ago I was healthy and strong, I was cheerful, tireless, passionate, I worked with these very hands, I could speak to move even Philistines to tears, I could cry when I saw grief, I became indignant when I encountered evil. I knew inspiration, I knew the charm and poetry of quiet nights when from dusk to dawn you sit at your desk or indulge you mind with dreams. I believed, I looked into the future as into the eyes of my own mother... And now, my God, I am exhausted, I do not believe, I spend my days and nights in idleness.


Anton Chekhov


#idleness #pathetic #dreams



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Did you know about Anton Chekhov?

"It's nice to be a lord" he joked to his friend Ivan Leontyev (who wrote humorous pieces under the pseudonym Shcheglov) but he took his responsibilities as a landlord seriously and soon made himself useful to the local peasants. As well as organising relief for victims of the famine and cholera outbreaks of 1892 he went on to build three schools a fire station and a clinic and to donate his medical services to peasants for miles around despite frequent recurrences of his tuberculosis. Suvorin was to become a lifelong friend perhaps Chekhov's closest.

His career as a dramatist produced four classics and his best short stories are held in high esteem by writers and critics. "
Chekhov renounced the theatre after the disastrous reception of The Seagull in 1896 but the play was revived to acclaim in 1898 by Constantin Stanislavski's Moscow Art Theatre which subsequently also produced Chekhov's Uncle Vanya and premiered his last two plays Three Sisters and The Cherry Orchard.

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