He slouches,' DeeDee contributes.
'True--he needs to work on his posture,' Thelma says.
'You guys,' I say.
'I'm serious,' Thelma says. 'What if you get married? Don't you want to go to fancy dinners with him and be proud?'
'You guys. We are not getting married!'
'I love his eyes,' Jolene says. 'If your kids get his blue eyes and your dark hair--wouldn't that be fabulous?'
'The thing is,' Thelma says, 'and yes, I know, this is the tricky part--but I'm thinking Bliss has to actually talk to him. Am I right? Before they have their brood of brown-haired, blue-eyed children?'
I swat her. "I'm not having Mitchell's children!'
'I'm sorry--what?' Thelma says.
Jolene is shaking her head and pressing back laughter. Her expressing says, Shhh, you crazy girl!
But I don't care. If they're going to embarrass me, then I'll embarrass them right back.
'I said'--I raise my voice--'I am not having Mitchell Truman's children!'
Jolene turns beet red, and she and DeeDee dissolve into mad giggles.
'Um, Bliss?' Thelma says. Her gaze travels upward to someone behind me. The way she sucks on her lip makes me nervous.
'Okaaay, I think maybe I won't turn around,' I announce.
A person of the male persuasion clears his throat.
'Definitely not turning around,' I say. My cheeks are burning. It's freaky and alarming how much heat is radiating from one little me.
'If you change your mind, we might be able to work something out,' the person of the male persuasion says.
'About the children?' DeeDee asks. 'Or the turning around?'
'DeeDee!' Jolene says.
'Both,' says the male-persuasion person.
I shrink in my chair, but I raise my hand over my head and wave.
'Um, hi,' I say to the person behind me whom I'm still not looking at. 'I'm Bliss.'
Warm fingers clasp my own.
'Pleased to meet you,' says the male-persuasion person. 'I'm Mitchell.'
'Hi, Mitchell.' I try to pull my hand from his grasp, but he won't let go. 'Um, bye now!'
I tug harder. No luck. Thelma, DeeDee, and Jolene are close to peeing their pants.
Fine. I twist around and give Mitchell the quickest of glances. His expressions is amused, and I grow even hotter.
He squeezes my hand, then lets go. 'Just keep me in the loop if you do decide to bear my children. I'm happy to help out.' With that, he stride jauntily to the food line.
Once he's gone, we lost it. Peals of laughter resound from our table, and the others in the cafeteria look at us funny. We laugh harder.
'Did you see!' Thelma gasps. 'Did you see how proud he was?'
'You improve his posture!' Jolene says.
'I'm so glad, since that was my deepest desire,' I say. 'Oh my God, I'm going to have to quit school and become a nun.'
'I can't believe you waved at him,' DeeDee says.
'Your hand was like a little periscope,' Jolene says. 'Or, no--like a white surrender flag.'
'It was a surrender flag. I was surrendering myself to abject humiliation.'
'Oh, please,' Thelma says, pulling me into a sideways hug. 'Think of it this way: Now you've officially talked to him.
— Lauren Myracle
#flirting #friendship #humor #teasing #change
