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    Homer, in the second book of the Iliad says with fine enthusiasm, "Give me masturbation or give me death." Caesar, in his Commentaries, says, "To the lonely it is company; to the forsaken it is a friend; to the aged and to the impotent it is a benefactor. They that are penniless are yet rich, in that they still have this majestic diversion." In another place this experienced observer has said, "There are times when I prefer it to sodomy." Robinson Crusoe says, "I cannot describe what I owe to this gentle art." Queen Elizabeth said, "It is the bulwark of virginity." Cetewayo, the Zulu hero, remarked, "A jerk in the hand is worth two in the bush." The immortal Franklin has said, "Masturbation is the best policy." Michelangelo and all of the other old masters--"old masters," I will remark, is an abbreviation, a contraction--have used similar language. Michelangelo said to Pope Julius II, "Self-negation is noble, self-culture beneficent, self-possession is manly, but to the truly great and inspiring soul they are poor and tame compared with self-abuse." Mr. Brown, here, in one of his latest and most graceful poems, refers to it in an eloquent line which is destined to live to the end of time--"None knows it but to love it; none name it but to praise.


    — Mark Twain

    #caesar #cetewayo #homer #iliad #masturbation



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    But I have thought some more since then and I have read carefully the treaty of Paris [which ended the Spanish-American War] and I have seen that we do not intend to free but to subjugate the people of the Philippines. There were three versions found in his manuscripts made between 1897 and 1905: the Hannibal Eseldorf and Print Shop versions. He did state that "the goodness the justice and the mercy of God are manifested in His works" but also that "the universe is governed by strict and immutable laws" which determine "small matters" such as who dies in a pestilence.

    Twain chose to pay all his pre-bankruptcy creditors in full though he had no responsibility to do this under the law. He also worked as a typesetter and contributed articles to his older brother Orion's newspaper. He achieved great success as a writer and public speaker.

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