The art of newspaper paragraphing is to stroke a platitude until it purrs like an epigram.

Donald Robert Perry Marquis (/ˈmɑrkwɪs/ MAR-kwis; July 29 1878 in Walnut Illinois – December 29 1937 in New York City) was a humorist journalist and author. During his lifetime he was equally famous for creating another fictitious character "the Old Soak" who was the subject of two books a hit Broadway play (1922-23) a silent movie (1926) and a talkie (1937). He was variously a novelist poet newspaper columnist and playwright.