Wendy Liebman

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. ↗

— Wendy Liebman

#blind #dates #dog #free #get

Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you. ↗

— Wendy Liebman

#doctor #house #marry #me #parents

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father. ↗

— Wendy Liebman

#dog #father #her #i #kill

I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one. ↗

— Wendy Liebman

#contributed #funny #harvard #house #i

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money. ↗

— Wendy Liebman

#divorce #marry #money #mother #said

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me! ↗

— Wendy Liebman

#bothering #come #killing #me #people