Victoria Wood

All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro. ↗

— Victoria Wood

#friends #getting #i #started #want

I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years. ↗

— Victoria Wood

#car keys #drove #everyone #got #i

A lot of panel programmes rely on men topping each other, or sparring with each other, which is not generally a very female thing. ↗

— Victoria Wood

#female #generally #lot #men #other

Acting is not my favourite thing. I don't like wearing costumes and wigs. ↗

— Victoria Wood

#costumes #favourite #favourite thing #i #like

I haven't got a waist. I've just got a sort of place, a bit like an unmarked level crossing. ↗

— Victoria Wood

#crossing #got #haven #i #just

I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on. ↗

— Victoria Wood

#certificate #degree #diving #does #evenings

I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill. ↗

— Victoria Wood

#come #god #i #off #pill

I used to make my own food and ate on my own in my room. ↗

— Victoria Wood

#food #i #make #my own #own

If you behave normally, people treat you normally. It's only when you act as if you're someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony. ↗

— Victoria Wood

#behave #ceremony #feel #normally #obliged

In London it's easy not to be the focus of attention, especially when Sting lives in the house just behind you. ↗

— Victoria Wood

#behind #easy #especially #focus #house