Tina Fey

What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do. ↗

— Tina Fey

#humor #humor

And I can see Russia from my house. ↗

— Tina Fey

#sarah-palin #humor

(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.) ↗

— Tina Fey

#kindlehighlight

No other formula gives your baby a better start in life except that stuff that comes out of you for free. ↗

— Tina Fey

#humor

You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions, and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams. ↗

— Tina Fey

#dreams

You know who DOES have a funny bone in her body? Your Mom every night for a dollar! ↗

— Tina Fey

#funny

Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. ↗

— Tina Fey

#humor #humor

Anytime there's a bad female stand-up somewhere, some dickhead Interblogger will deduce that "women aren't funny." Using that same math, I can state: Male comedy writers piss in cups. ↗

— Tina Fey

#feminism #humor #funny

...I can't possibly take time off for a second baby, unless I do, in which case that is nobody's business and I'll never regret it for a moment unless it ruins my life. ↗

— Tina Fey

#celebrity #humor #business

Now go to bed, you crazy night owl! You have to be at NASA early in the morning. So they can look for your penis with the Hubble telescope. ↗

— Tina Fey

#nasa #penis #humor