Roseanne Barr

I was completely nuts for most of my life. ↗

— Roseanne Barr

#i #life #most #my life #nuts

Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce. ↗

— Roseanne Barr

#last #marriage #seriously #take #thing

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with. ↗

— Roseanne Barr

#believe #bigger #decrease #i #i believe

I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job. ↗

— Roseanne Barr

#day #done #end #end of the day #figure

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life. ↗

— Roseanne Barr

#been #being #beneath #earth #every

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job. ↗

— Roseanne Barr

#done #feel #gets #hey #home

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it. ↗

— Roseanne Barr

#fat #just #just be #okay #shut

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact. ↗

— Roseanne Barr

#husband #i #mutual #pact #sign

Excuse the mess but we live here. ↗

— Roseanne Barr

#here #live #mess

I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do. ↗

— Roseanne Barr

#comic #here #i #i came #laugh