Paula Poundstone

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#cats #murder

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#death #feeling #just #out #sin

Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#asking #because #grow #grow up #ideas

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#exact #face #get #look #moth

How do you come back? It's one step at a time. I'm optimistic because I don't know what else to be. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#because #come #else #how #i

I also like a great Caesar salad with anchovies, although I don't know why some places say 'with anchovies.' If you're making a proper Caesar salad, it's going to have anchovies. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#although #caesar #going #great #i

I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#anywhere #because #come #first #flight

I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a night of all women comics, and they invited me to do that. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#called #club #comedy #comics #connection

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#beautiful #beautiful thing #consider #horrible #i

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.' ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#her #how #i #lake #learned