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Mitch Hedberg

Read through the most famous quotes from Mitch Hedberg




It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.


— Mitch Hedberg


#cocky #dangerous #hands #know #people

I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.


— Mitch Hedberg


#better #could #i #i wish #league

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.


— Mitch Hedberg


#drunk #got #rabbits #would #you

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.


— Mitch Hedberg


#fingers #i #i can #whistle

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.


— Mitch Hedberg


#i #i think #soccer #think

My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.


— Mitch Hedberg


#called #does #gets #got #halfway

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.


— Mitch Hedberg


#funny #jokes #me #these

If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.


— Mitch Hedberg


#i #kid #kitchen #magnets #make

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.


— Mitch Hedberg


#i #normal #remix #remixed

I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary.


— Mitch Hedberg


#i #once #pyramid #saw #unnecessary






About Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes




Did you know about Mitch Hedberg?

" He also toyed with audiences that failed to respond in the way he had intended them to occasionally quipping "That joke's better than you acted. Hedberg was interviewed by Jonathan Davis in the December 2001 issue of Penthouse. His act usually consisted equally of compact one- or two-liners (like Steven Wright's) and longer routines often with each line as a punchline.

Hedberg's comedy and onstage persona gained him a cult following with audience members sometimes shouting out the punchlines to his jokes before he could finish them. His comedy typically featured short sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs. Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg (February 24 1968 – March 29 2005) was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery.

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