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Mitch Hedberg

Read through the most famous quotes from Mitch Hedberg




My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?


— Mitch Hedberg


#down #happening #hero #hold #holds

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.


— Mitch Hedberg


#i #ice #ice cube #last #last night

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?


— Mitch Hedberg


#hippopotamus #just #really

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.


— Mitch Hedberg


#brain #brian #call #compliment #even

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.


— Mitch Hedberg


#eat #fish #fishing #go #just

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.


— Mitch Hedberg


#girlfriend #i #i do #know #mad

I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.


— Mitch Hedberg


#again #beans #because #fried #fry

I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.


— Mitch Hedberg


#i #like #more #more people #people

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.


— Mitch Hedberg


#buy #cake #candle #got #holder

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.


— Mitch Hedberg


#because #boiling #drank #i #some






About Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes




Did you know about Mitch Hedberg?

" He also toyed with audiences that failed to respond in the way he had intended them to occasionally quipping "That joke's better than you acted. Hedberg was interviewed by Jonathan Davis in the December 2001 issue of Penthouse. His act usually consisted equally of compact one- or two-liners (like Steven Wright's) and longer routines often with each line as a punchline.

Hedberg's comedy and onstage persona gained him a cult following with audience members sometimes shouting out the punchlines to his jokes before he could finish them. His comedy typically featured short sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs. Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg (February 24 1968 – March 29 2005) was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery.

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