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Mark Twain

Read through the most famous quotes from Mark Twain




If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.


— Mark Twain


#christian #christianity #humor #wisdom #wit

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.


— Mark Twain


#humor

There's one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he's crooked.


— Mark Twain


#honesty

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.


— Mark Twain


#evolution #humor #mankind #humor

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.


— Mark Twain


#brain #fish #heart #love #you

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.


— Mark Twain


#humor #education

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.


— Mark Twain


#die #even #let us #live #sorry

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?


— Mark Twain


#simile #insult

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.


— Mark Twain


#born #day #important #life #reasons-why

Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.


— Mark Twain


#wit #humor






About Mark Twain

Mark Twain Quotes




Did you know about Mark Twain?

But I have thought some more since then and I have read carefully the treaty of Paris [which ended the Spanish-American War] and I have seen that we do not intend to free but to subjugate the people of the Philippines. There were three versions found in his manuscripts made between 1897 and 1905: the Hannibal Eseldorf and Print Shop versions. He did state that "the goodness the justice and the mercy of God are manifested in His works" but also that "the universe is governed by strict and immutable laws" which determine "small matters" such as who dies in a pestilence.

Twain chose to pay all his pre-bankruptcy creditors in full though he had no responsibility to do this under the law. He also worked as a typesetter and contributed articles to his older brother Orion's newspaper. He achieved great success as a writer and public speaker.

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