Mark Russell

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. ↗

— Mark Russell

#airline #best #composed #entirely #i

The way money goes so fast these days, they should paint racing stripes on it. ↗

— Mark Russell

#fast #goes #money #paint #racing

Believe me when I say that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business. My business. ↗

— Mark Russell

#bill #business #clinton #good #i

I believe that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business... my business! ↗

— Mark Russell

#bill #business #clinton #good #i

I can't think of a performer who is better on television than in person. ↗

— Mark Russell

#i #performer #person #television #than

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny. ↗

— Mark Russell

#both #both sides #funny #i #i do

I'll keep doing it until I die or the audiences die. ↗

— Mark Russell

#die #doing #i #keep #until

If the audience doesn't like it, usually they're just silent. But they've never all walked out at once. ↗

— Mark Russell

#just #like #never #once #out

If you call your opponent a politician, it's grounds for libel. ↗

— Mark Russell

#grounds #libel #opponent #politician #you

People are not in a good mood when any politician's face appears on television. ↗

— Mark Russell

#appears #face #good #good mood #mood