Lewis Black

I'm a selfish, little pig of a man. ↗

— Lewis Black

#little #man #pig #selfish

I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not. ↗

— Lewis Black

#great #i #joke #odd #say

I've always really liked theater. It fascinated me. You can create a reality and get people involved in that reality. It takes place in real time. ↗

— Lewis Black

#create #fascinated #get #i #involved

I've got stuff about airline mergers, which just shows that my stand-up is getting more insane by the minute. ↗

— Lewis Black

#airline #getting #got #i #insane

If I get a week off, I'll go to a hotel that has a golf course. I like to come downstairs and go right onto the course. I'll do that five days in a row. ↗

— Lewis Black

#course #days #downstairs #five #get

My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter. ↗

— Lewis Black

#father #had #lab #naval #paid

My touring has never stopped; from the time I started doing stand-up, I've been on the road. ↗

— Lewis Black

#doing #i #never #road #stand-up

The whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year. Unbelievable. And we find it acceptable. ↗

— Lewis Black

#back #biggest #find #fine #holiday

I would like to play Pebble Beach at some point. I keep waiting for them to call and ask me to that little pro-am thing, but I'm not big enough. ↗

— Lewis Black

#beach #big #big enough #call #enough

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. ↗

— Lewis Black

#candy #corn #ever #made